This is it. I rasa this is it. First thing, i terhutang budi dengan korang. I rasa bersyukur sangat for all those years we have been through together especially during Antara Lelaki 1, mana korang bebetul sokong i, baca every week, siap push lagi bila nak post new post semua, siap dm, komen, ada yang share, ada yang bagi viral sampai ada sehari tu nearly 2k readers yang baca cerita ni, i rasa bersyukur sangat. I happy sebab korang sokong i sampai jadi macam ni.
I wanna end this story by saying, this is it. Cukup cukuplah kot pada i. I started this blog because i missed him so much. It hurt me like hell bila dia tinggalkan i, and it kinda forced me to writing something that is typically heartbreaking (at least for me sebab i kan poyo liddat lol) but at the same time this was a place & space for me to actually really let it all go. My insecurities, my emotions, my anger, my heartbreaks, semualah. I tak terfikir pun orang akan baca benda alah ini, in fact i tak terfikir yang ada book publishers offer i untuk publish benda ni. Tapi i tak peduli pun. I tak tulis cerita ni in the first place to make money pun. It was me, being a heartbroken boy, trying to move on, dengan lepaskan semuanya dalam ni.
I wanna say thank you to all my big supporters, yang tak berhenti dm/text bagai push i untuk tulis sequel Antara Lelaki. Random strangers who read this yang would stop me in the middle of the road cakap they felt how i felt reading this. People who i have never met in my whole entire life would cry reading this the same way as how i would cry reading this. People yang jumpa i randomly & shared their life stories & those heartbroken moments with their loved ones, and cried together with me. People yang secretly baca tapi taknak orang lain tahu baca. Semualah, thank you korang. I'm gonna miss the goodness in you all.
Ini bukan disclaimer, it's just something as a closure to all sebab i tahu tak semua follow twitter i. And i tahu ada lagi yang still tunggu new post in every single week. I minta maaf, secara jujurnya i cakap, i dah tak boleh tulis benda ni. It has been such a long way since 2013, and i am.so proud of that. I bangga dengan diri i in the sense of i sendiri tak sangka i could write this. Heck to have people reading this.
Sebenarnya, i dah takde rasa apa apa. The reason why i wrote this because i was so heartbroken, emotional, angry with everything that had happened between me and Syahrul, and at the same time i wanted to express my feelings but i hadn't had a space to do so, hence this came out. But it has been 4 years since i posted my first chapter, & it has been 2 years since the original series ended. Selama i menulis ni, i banyak belajar about self improvement, how to love yourself, and how to accept everything that is happening to you. I belajar yang tak semua benda kita boleh dapat and tak semua benda kita boleh kejar. I belajar yang tak semestinya mencintai itu kita seharusnya memiliki. I belajar yang i sendiri pun sangat sangat tak matang dalam buat semua keputusan dalam hidup i. I belajar untuk grow up more and to be more responsible in anything that i am doing. And the most important thing is, i belajar yang i juga seorang manusia. I crave for love and attention like everybody else too. I crave for passionate & loving guy who's gonna love me for me.
I rasa enough with this persona. Thank you to all characters in this series. I tahu setiap dorang ni ada fans memasing especially Azman. Azman was created based on my first love dulu. Biasalah he was your first love, korang mesti susah nak lupa kan? He's such a nice guy, with a great career, loving personality, all that. Syahrul pulak, the main character yang semua orang benci lol. Tapi korang pernah dengar tak about "he might not be the first love you ever had but he certainly is your most loved" ? He was that person. Nice, naive, polite, respectful, penyayang, attentive, he had everything a girl & a boy wants to be their boyfriend. He was the nicest person ever. He had this amazing personality, he talked the most nicest things, he laughed to every joke that i made, he cried on the silliest things sometimes i accidentally said, and the most thing was, he loved me more than anybody could. Sebab tu jalan cerita Syahrul dengan watak Fakhrul (i la siapa lagi) selalu revolves around each other. Sebab masa tu, i rasa i tak boleh hidup tanpa dia.
Syazmin korang mesti nak tahu jugak? He was that guy who would always say he likes you tapi tak tunjuk pun. Sejenis lelaki yang very egoistic and tak peduli apa pun pasal orang lain. Very passionate about his career, and in real life, he is actually a very succesful person. Kerja in finance, so memang sejenis berkira sikit pasal duit lol.
And the last one would be Nikolas, the most annoying guy i pernah kenal. Very free spirited, successful, tapi tak tetap pendirian. Apa je orang cakap dia akan buat. Tak reti nak convey apa dia rasa, regardless of who he's being with. Very immature in so many ways, maybe sebab membesar dengan family yang ada segalanya, he's used to be spoiled & pampered with luxuries & gifts & all things he wanted. But deep inside dia seorang yang penyayang, tapi gelojoh.
With that said, i rasa this is the end of it. Thank you for everything guys, i really appreciate it. Thanks for all the love since 2013. Doakan yang baik baik untuk semuanya.
With love,
Fared.
